One of the earliest forms of reading is through the interpretation of signs. I remember riding in my parents’ Ford four-door, sitting in the back while they carried on their conversations about work and life. I’d watch for billboards. I vowed then, as a young child can vow to oneself, that I would learn how to interpret the markings on the sign. I wanted to know what was going on.
According to my parents, I began reading around the age of four. So these early billboard image memories are a treasure not only because I am remembering something so early in my life, but that I am remembering anything from my childhood.
Reading is an essential opportunity to access worlds of information. Whether this turns into knowledge that is beneficial is another matter (and that is where teachers, librarians, parents, care-givers come into the picture), and that is for another post. Knowing I could always “figure it out” was my Ace, and it saved me time and again. I was often naive and uninformed, but I could figure it out. When presented with a problem, head to the place of information.
Part of this motivation is a desire to gain control over my life’s circumstances at times when I felt overwhelmed with problems. Part of it is growing up in a culture that envelopes each of us with the hope that if we work hard enough at something, we’ll probably succeed. That work ethic makes me crazy sometimes, but it has also succeeded enough that I keep going in that direction. I have a collection of rings I’ve obtained through the risks of leaning too far in the saddle, and some permanent bruises and scars as well.
There are other types of signs, too. Just like most children, I felt that the world was communicating with me in some way. Those billboards were trying to say something to me. I believed the full moon was watching and following me as my parents drove me around through the night traffic, coming home from dinner or some event. And it freaked me out.
As an adult I carry on some of these tendencies; they seem harmless enough and honesty there is a part of me that would feel very disconnected if I let go of this. I know, most of those good-natured skeptics out there (and there are a few in the library world) have scoffed. The peer pressure to be viewed as “normal” is enormous, and yet what is it that crosses the border of acceptance? When revealing this side of me, I run the risk of being labeled “weird.” It happens and it runs deep.
Nevertheless, I made another vow early on when creating this blog that I would trust you. So, with a deep breath, I continue.
This is a small instance. I have to start small so that you don’t think I’m really crazy, and it’s just one little example of what I hope to be many to come – if you will allow me this.
As I write this, a storm is settling in. Wind is picking up and the sky is darkening. I can smell rain and lightening in the background. My old cat is sitting by the open door to the deck and he looks up at me from time to time. I pet him as I pass by to put down the deck umbrella. The other cat is still curled up on the cushion on the chair, enjoying the summer warmth.
I began downloading a couple of CDs to my iPod about two hours ago. On song 13, the process froze. The song’s title is “Same Mistake,” by James Blunt. I got up and took care of a couple of chores, thinking to give it time to unfreeze on its own. My upstairs computer is older and sometimes takes a while. CTRL+ALT+Delete do not make a difference.
After an hour, I remembered to check on the progress. There has been no change other than time passing. So, I wonder: is this a one of those little signs? The number 13 has always been trouble for me. Am I making a mistake writing this? As I promised, I will renew my courage and look myself straight in the eye with the conviction that I can, I will go on. There is so much to tell.
Life is certainly full of stories, symbols, and signs. In the search for information I have been enmeshed with daily recounts in each of these areas. Yesterday a patron asked if the world was going to end on September 10th. I will write more about this soon.
For now, I am enjoying the blessing that I can read and write. I’m somewhat proud that I am adept in finding information and in discerning a patron’s needs. Now to take care of batting down the hatches.
